


How (not) to write a Christmas Card

by jisoomes



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisoomes/pseuds/jisoomes
Summary: Based on the prompt:37. you jokingly suggest we send out holiday cards together as friends so we do, and now everyone is congratulating us for finally getting together.
Relationships: Haymitch Abernathy & Effie Trinket, Haymitch Abernathy/Effie Trinket
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	How (not) to write a Christmas Card

She knew she had to get out of bed at some point but the heated kisses she was exchanging with Haymitch were too distracting. Every time she tried to slow it down, to leave it at just a peck... He would capture her lips again, tease her with his tongue and teeth...

His hand slid from her waist to her butt, groping gently and she had to muster all her self control to pull away.

"I have to finish some errands," she protested. Haymitch wasn't easily deterred, his lips trailed down her neck. The stubble rubbing against her skin a little uncomfortably...

" _Now?_ " He asked with a pout when she pulled away. It was cute, _too cute,_ and tempting.. "But I have plans for you in this bed."

"You've _done_ the plans with me in this bed," Effie chuckled. "I don't think you'll be ready for more plans for a while." 

"Way to boost my ego," he mocked, his pout deepening. He did his best to look convincing but Effie shook her head. 

"It doesn't need boosting," she shot back with a grin, reaching down on the floor for his shirt to put on... "I need to write these cards and post them. It is the last day I can send them." _Because she had spent most of her week in bed with him,_ she didn't add. "Then I am all yours." He didn't reply much more than a hum, but he looked pleased. 

The stack of cards were in her kitchen and Effie didn't bother with wearing much more than his shirt. She wasn't sure if he would follow. The last round of sex had exhausted _her,_ and if she didn't have to post these cards today, she would be taking a power nap at that moment. 

Still, she was pleasantly surprised when he appeared in the doorway dressed in little more than boxers. The view was nice and she appreciated it for a moment. He had come back to the city to sort some things with Paylor and Plutarch and she had missed him. They had certainly made good use of their time together.

Effie wasn't sure where they stood. Whether they were still in a relationship... She wasn't sure they ever _had_ a relationship. After the war, he had talked about wanting to build something with her. But then he had left with Katniss and they hadn't discussed _them_ further. She had asked him if they needed to use condoms but he had shook his head. That told her he probably hadn't slept with anybody else in Twelve, but did that mean they were together? Or was that simply a coincidence?

 _She_ hadn't slept with anyone else since he left. But that was of little meaning, she hadn't slept with anybody else since the 72nd Hunger Games, and even _that_ had been a sponsor... Had he slept with other people? Effie was unsure. She had certainly never seen or heard somebody else in the penthouse but the amount of times she would hear Chaff talk to him about his encounters, told her that he _must have._

"What's got you so in your head?" Haymitch asked, startling her. He walked through the doorway with complete confidence and clicked her kettle. "Tea?"

"Oh... yes," Effie replied after a moment. She was taken a back at his ease in her kitchen. _When had that happened?_

"So?" He asked, leaning against the counter as he waited for her kettle. "What's got into your head between the bedroom and the kitchen?" Effie shrugged, which was something she _never_ used to do before she met him, and sat down on one of the stools. Moving the cards she had abandoned on the island last night closer and grabbing a pen that was lying around...

"Nothing," she lied. She didn't want to talk about their relationship, the last few days had been _nice._ And she didn't want to ruin it by scaring him off. Or worse, breaking her own heart. "Have you sent your cards yet?" She couldn't imagine he had, he would have had to send them before he left Twelve and Haymitch had _never_ been that organised. 

But he looked so much _healthier_ now... He was drinking less. She had noticed immediately. _How long had it been since his last drink?_ She honestly didn't know. He told her he'd gotten geese too, talked about the shelter he had made for them...

The kettle clicked.

"I'm not sending any cards," Haymitch told her before he turned around. There was no hesitation when he opened the cupboard she kept her cups in. _Did he know her kitchen by heart?_ He had only been here for a couple of days and they hadn't really used the kitchen. Was it weird that he knew where everything was? Did it mean something?

"You have a lot more connections these days, you should send cards out of courtesy." She opened the first card. She'll do the children’s cards first, Effie decides. It's easier to start off like that. She doesn't want to hesitate at all so she starts right away. _To Katniss and Peeta..._

"Should I?" He asks, Effie can't see him but by his tone she can tell he's frowning. She knows him so well... But that's not unusual, right? They were colleagues for years so of course she would know little things about him. "Why?"

"It’s polite." A cup is placed carefully in front of her and Effie looks up to thank him only to find Haymitch looking at her cards with interest.

"Do you have any spare?" He nods towards the stack to her right. 

"No, I don't," Effie admits, a little embarrassed. She _used_ to. Before the war, she would have hundreds of cards because she had _that_ many contacts. It was important she had some spare in case she forgot someone. But these days, Effie has very few friends and acquaintances, and even less money. She can't afford to pay for lots of nice cards, and she will be damned if she buys a cheap pack. Image is still important in the Capitol, and Effie will hold onto her dignity as long as she can.

"Oh," Haymitch sighs. "Can't you just sign my name on yours?" 

"Wouldn't that give the wrong impression?"

"Not really, you were my escort after all," he shrugs. 

"I... I suppose," Effie replies, looking at the bottom of the card where her name is signed blankly. _Love, Effie..._ and after a minute she adds: _& Haymitch._ "Is that okay?" She asks, passing him the card.

"Yeah," Haymitch nods. "Although it doesn't matter 'bout the kids. Just Plutarch and the rest." Effie quirks an eyebrow at that. _Since when did Haymitch care about anybody other than the kids?_ “I'm trying to keep contacts, for the kids. Don't wanna be a recluse anymore, you know?" He goes to hand back the card but Effie stops him. 

"If I'm writing them, you're putting them in the envelope," she warns. "There are pens on the coffee table."

Surprisingly, he complied with what she said, coming back with a pen and writing on the envelope. 

"You have an address list for the rest?" He asked after he'd finished. She cranes her neck to see a rather sloppy _Katniss and Peeta_ scrawled on the front. He had tried his best to be neat but his handwriting wasn’t the best. Still, Effie pushed her address book forward. "Thanks."

"It's good," Effie said quickly. "That you're trying to be less reclusive." 

"It's mostly for the kids," Haymitch muttered, clearly uncomfortable. "I'll give them this card, save you having to post it." 

"Thank you."

They worked like a well oiled machine. It took Effie back to when she'd fill out the papers for dead tributes and sponsorship forms, except this time Haymitch was actually _helping._ It shocked her, how well they worked together. They hadn't argued since he got here - something they hadn't even achieved with Katniss and Peeta. It was such a rarity that Effie hadn't dared breach the relationship discussion yet in fear of breaking the peace. 

"All done," she announced finally. "Now, I'll get ready and post them, then I am all yours."

"No reward for the envelopes?" He asked, faking shock.

"You can have a reward _later,_ " Effie promised. "But if I don't post these today then they won't arrive on time." Haymitch thought that over for a second and then scooped up the cards. 

"How about... I drop them at the post office and you order some dinner, yeah?" 

"Are you sure?" She had to voice her concern because Haymitch had _never_ been this nice and helpful. And planning _dinner_ together certainly sounded like a date. Sure, he had been eating at her apartment while he was staying here but it was never agreed beforehand.

"Yeah, it'll take me two minutes. You're gonna take forever to get ready, take forever whilst you're gone. And I'm gonna have to wait forever to get you back into bed." Effie considered the offer before she let a slow teasing grin spread across her face. 

"I like the way you think," she purred, hoping to tease him. It worked, Haymitch stepped forward, leaning in to kiss her. It was so good, a little rough and _needy_ that it took Effie a minute to regain her senses. "The letters," she reminded against his lips. And begrudgingly, he slowed the kisses down to pecks with a disappointed sigh.

"The letters and then I'm having you on the table," he warned.

"After dinner," Effie promised, because her stomach was starting to stir...

"Only if we're having that pie I like," Haymitch bargained immediately with a smirk. It was cheating, because she loved it when he smirked like that, with playful eyes...

"Fine," she compromised.

\- 

It was only later, after dinner and when she was watching him sleeping next to her, that Effie debated the dating question again. _Were they dating?_ She still wasn't sure. Before the war, Haymitch would have never suggested eating dinner together, or helped her write cards. He would have never offered to post them for her to save her from getting changed. _Hell,_ he wouldn't have even admitted he was planning to have sex with her, it always had to be in the moment. Even when she knew he wasn’t fooled by her starting an argument. All they had ever been - or rather _hid_ behind - was sex.

Only in Thirteen, when she was in the hospital did he ever show her anything more than that. Only in the presidential mansion did he prove to her that he didn't want her for just sex... Haymitch had said so himself, he wanted to _build_ something. But where did that leave them now? Effie knew she'd have to talk to him about it. He was leaving tomorrow, she would have to ask but she wasn't sure she wanted an answer. 

She didn't sleep much, the knowledge that this might be her last night with him had her on edge. She spent most of the night watching him, content just to lie in his arms and bask in his smell, the familiar weight of his arms around her, his legs tangled with hers... 

She must have drifted off at some point though because she woke up to gentle kisses. The sex that morning was slow and lazy, they were still waking up but it left her with this warm feeling all over that didn't shake for a while afterwards. Not until she watched Haymitch packing his bag. 

"What time is your train?" She asked, clipping in an earring. She was sat at the vanity, her back to him. But she could see him in the mirror, moving around her bedroom. Picking up the clutter he'd managed to accumulate in the last few days, his clothes off of her, erasing every trace he was there...

"12:30," he replied. "Enough time for a last round if you're interested." It was clearly an attempt at a joke, but her gaze flickered to the clock on her bedside table anyway. _11:45._ Haymitch seemed to be watching the clock as well. He - like Effie - was looking more and more somber as time went on. The minute she had suggested they get out of dressed, get _ready._ The mood had shifted, slowly getting heavier and heavier...

"I need to talk to you," she said quickly instead. "Something has been on mind and I need to talk it through with you."

"Now?" He clarified.

"Yes." She had to do it before she lost her nerve. "Sit down." And he did, at the end of her bed, facing her. His bag dropped at his feet, the strap dangling from his hand. His thumb was running across the material a little nervously. 

"Are you okay?" He frowned. Effie nodded her head.

"Yes, I am fine I just-" she started but she wasn't sure how to finish. Her mouth tried to form the words. Would it be assuming too much if she asked ' _are we dating?_ ' would avoiding the word date be better? 

"Spit it out, sweetheart," he chuckled. "You're scaring me."

"Are we together?"she asked. 

He didn't reply straight away and it was enough to set Effie on edge. 

"I just mean we never defined anything, after the war. I just wanted to know. No pressure or anything..."

"Do you want to be together?" He said eventually. 

"I- I don't know," Effie replied honestly, although it sounded more like a question. _Did she?_ She hadn't thought about that really, too focused on the question of whether he thought they were or not. "Do you?" She licked her lips, taking a deep breath. Readying herself for the rejection...

"Yeah," he shrugged. He made it sound a lot more casual than he looked, he looked _tense._ His face was hard, his jaw clenching and unclenching every few minutes. Clearly this was taking effort for him. "I don't want to do it if you're not sure though, Effie." Dropping her gaze, Effie nodded, turning back to the mirror. She didn't offer an answer straight away, she wanted to think. He seemed to understand because he stood up. 

"I'll get my stuff from the living room," he explained unnecessarily. A short nod from her and she found herself alone.

Her bedroom wasn't helping her think clearly. Even with his clothes gone, the room smelt of him. The bed was still unmade, the glass of water he had brought her this morning was still on the nightstand... It clouded her judgment. Made her think they _could_ be together. But what kind of relationship would they have? She lived so far away, it would be too reminiscent of when she was an escort to go to Twelve and visit. And he wouldn't move to the Capitol, she knew that with all of her heart. The kids came first and the kids were in Twelve. 

That was discounting the fact that they had a bad track record with being healthy for each other. Sure, the last few days had been surprisingly nice but... They had tore each other apart when they lived together at the penthouse. How long would it take for them to do that again? Effie couldn't deal with that. She needed something safe, peaceful. Someone she could rely on. _Was that really Haymitch?_

\- 

They walked in silence to the train station. Haymitch had offered to go alone but she had wanted to say goodbye. She wanted to answer him before he got on the train. Partly because she had been given time to think, and partly because it looked like his admission was eating away at him. He was closing up, she could _see_ it.

But no matter how many times she wanted to say _yes._ She couldn't form the word. The idea of being long distance was holding her back. She could move to Twelve but what would that say about her? That she would give up what she's worked so hard for here just for Haymitch? For somebody who couldn’t prioritise her first and had proclaimed he hated her for years. Somebody who _left_ her. She was supposed to be independent, she didn't want to need anybody that badly... To rely on somebody so much...

"That's me," he broke the silence eventually, gesturing to the train pulling in. "Listen, sweetheart what I said... Just forget about it, yeah?" He turned around. There was this tight feeling in her chest at the sight of his back. He was going to leave. He was going to leave and she will have ruined whatever was going on between them...

"No, Haymitch I-" _I love you,_ she wanted to say. Because she had no doubts about her feelings for him. _I love you but I just need..._ Needed what? She wasn't sure. Time, security... Something to assure her that she was making the right decision. But he would pull away, assume she wasn't as certain about it as he was. She knew it with all of her being. Haymitch didn’t like being vulnerable, making him wait for so long. It would give him the wrong impression.

So she did what they did best. Gripping his arm through the fabric of his jumper and pulling him back to face her. Throwing her other arm around his neck, and bringing his head down to kiss her. The kiss wasn't gentle, it wasn't a goodbye kiss. It was full of passion and Effie poured everything she was feeling out into it. Hoping, somehow he would understand. That he would allow her this space to decide...

He pulled away regretfully, breathlessly. 

"I've got to get the train," he explained, a quick glance told her that he couldn't stay any longer. One last peck and she let him go with an understanding nod. 

"I will call," she promised.

He didn't reply. Effie watched his retreating back, her eyes filling with ridiculous tears that she blinked away. _Why was she tearing up?_ She knew he had to leave.

Going home without him was a sad affair. The apartment still smelled like him no matter what room she was in, so she took herself out the house. Went grocery shopping, ignored the people who looked at her with distaste... Did everything she could to fill the empty space she was feeling being alone again. 

Things settled after the first night alone. She slipped into her old life again easily enough.  


\- - - 

The ringing of the phone startled Effie from the magazine she was reading. It was an old magazine, the November edition of one of her favourites, a treat she'd bought to cheer herself up last month. She had read it so much that she almost had every page memorised. It reminded her of when she was a child, when her mother would buy her a magazine and she would spend hours looking at the glossy pages. At the pretty colours and dresses, reading all the information and imagining herself wearing the pieces...

"Hello?"

"Effie!" Plutarch exclaimed on the other end of the line. Effie ignored the small twinge of disappointment at the sound of his voice. She had hoped it was somebody else. But _why did she expect him to call?_ She had told Haymitch she would call, after all. "I did not mean to bother you," he explained. "Fulvia and I just wanted to offer our congratulations."

"Congratulations?" She frowned. 

"You and Haymitch!" He chuckled a little uncomfortably. "We got your card, I'm happy you're finally together. I was hoping it would happen at some point. After the war... Well let's just say I was feeling a little guilty and worried." Effie was speechless for a moment, her brain was struggling to process everything that he was saying. "But that is of no matter now, I'm really happy you are both reacquainted."

"Oh, we are not..." Effie protested quickly.

"I cannot stay for long, my apologies," Plutarch interrupts her, seemingly not having heard her at all. "I will see you at work in the New Year, you and Haymitch have a good Christmas!" He hung up without even letting Effie say goodbye.

Effie is frozen, her right hand hand uselessly holding the phone as she chewed her lip nervously. She should ring Haymitch, let him know the mix up. Warn him... But she doesn't have much time to contemplate before the phone rings again. 

_This is it,_ she thinks. Plutarch called Haymitch to offer congratulations too and now he's ringing to get upset. Not that he would have any leg to stand on. After all, it was him who suggested it.

"Hello?" Johanna speaks before Effie even has time to open her mouth. "How come I have to find out you're dating Haymitch from the tv?" _That,_ has her panicking. Her left hand shoots out to turn the television on and to find the channel... Sure enough, Caesar's daytime show has a photo of her and Haymitch together. It's from the Victory Tour, someone must have taken it without her realising because Haymitch is holding a drink, smiling at something she said and her hand is on his arm, clutching it slightly as she laughs too. _They look happy._ Effie realises. _Is that what they looked like together back then?_ No wonder the other Victors would tease them. No wonder the Capitol figured it out, between the bugs and looking at each other like _that..._

She turns the volume up, listening in to hear what Caesar is saying about them.

"Are you even listening?" Johanna snaps, startling Effie. 

"My apologies, no I was not," Effie chuckles awkwardly. It wasn't like her to be so rude after all. "What were you saying?"

"Why the fuck does Caesar know before me?" Johanna asks angrily. "We talk almost every day, couldn't you have slipped it in?" Effie has to bite her tongue because seriously, _when has Johanna ever cared about her dating life?_ She's not even sure they're considered friends. Before the war, they hated each other. Their time in the Capitol's cells had bonded them but it was rocky ground. 

"Johanna, I am not dating Haymitch," Effie explains quietly. "I don't know why Caesars reporting that but it is _false._ " Had Plutarch spilled it to the press? She would like to think he wouldn't but Effie knew better than to trust him. Why would he leak it? That was where the question lied...

The screen changed, cutting from Caesar in his seat to a photo of a card. Not just any card, Effie's card that was signed to _Caesar_ from her and Haymitch. Then more, blurred out names but all with card signed from them. 

Effie choked. She certainly hadn’t expected _this_...

"Oh yeah?" Johanna taunted at her sudden silence. "You're watching it too huh? Explain that."

"It's a misunderstanding," Effie argued quietly. Her mind was racing, _how on Earth was she going to fix this?_ She wasn't quite sure. She had been an expert in this once upon a time, but that was when she had _fans_ and a lot of powerful connections. She didn't feel so powerful now. Especially knowing she _would_ have to call Haymitch now... 

"A misunderstanding," Johanna mocked. "What kind of misunderstanding do you call that?"

"Why are you so upset?" Effie hissed back defensively. "You've never taken an interest in my love life before, Johanna. How was I supposed to know you wanted me to inform you of something?" She was being unfair, she knew. A little harsh. But she could hear her heart beating, the panic beginning to spread throughout her body. Filling her with tension... This was a mess and Effie didn't like messes. She _needed_ things to be clean and orderly these days.

"Because," Johanna retorted. "We've been waiting for you two to admit you've been fucking for years now. And this is how I find out? I'm hurt." She was very clearly lying but Effie sighed anyway.

"I apologise, but I'm going to have to hang up and sort this out." Johanna scoffed and muttered something she didn’t catch. Hanging up without replying.

Almost immediately she dialled Haymitch's number. Quickly growing frustrated by every ring... Did he rip out the phone again? Because that would just be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it? Oh Effie could see it now, Haymitch sat at home drinking whilst she frantically tries to get a hold of him. It would be just her luck...

"Yeah?" He answered.

" _Hello,_ Haymitch," Effie stressed. "You do not answer a phone like that." 

"Sweetheart..." Haymitch replied, his voice full of something similar to _yearning._ The tone ignited this pull in Effie's stomach. This strange need to give him what he needed... "Did you make a decision?" The question was said far too casually in comparison to his previous statement. _He obviously has no idea what's going on._

"Not yet," she winced. "I-We have a problem." 

"A problem?"

"Caesar has just run a story on us dating." There was a moment of pure silence and then Haymitch burst into chuckles.

"And?" He snorted once he'd recovered. "It ain't the first time princess, probably won't be the last..."

"He's using the Christmas card as evidence. There's more, other people have sent in their cards..." Effie holds her breath, waiting for something. Anything. But Haymitch doesn't say a word. "Are you angry with me?"

"No," he replies and it's earnest enough that she believes him. "I'm just wondering what you want me to do."

"I- Nothing," she stutters uncharacteristically. "I don't want you to do anything. I just felt like you should know. Do you want me to handle it?" She offers, making it sound a lot easier than it is.

"Did you make a decision?" He repeats. 

"No... I told you I haven't yet," she responds, unsure where this is going...

"Then yes, I want you to deal with it," he replies coldly. "Date another man, release a statement denying it, whatever you think is best."

"Haymitch," Effie begs. "Don't be like this."

"Like what?" He chuckles but it's all wrong. It's uncomfortable and bitter. "You said you'd call once you made a decision but it's been a week and you haven't... Seems like an easy decision to me."

"It is not," she protested. "Nothing about this is easy."

"Oh yeah?" He goads. "Was easy for me, and I'm the one who's bad with feelings." Effie has to resist knocking her head against her coffee table...

"I'm not confused about my feelings," she challenges, wondering if he's going to make her say the words. She will, if he wants to accuse her of being bad with feelings, _she will say it._

"Then whats holding you back?" He accuses.

"Logistics," she deadpans. "Haymitch, I live in the Capitol..."

"Then move," he replies, as if it was obvious. As if it was that simple.

"To Twelve?" She snorts. "Everyone would hate me."

"They wouldn't," he said quietly. "I'd make sure, the kids would too."

"I have a life here," she pointed out.

"You're not happy," he shot back. "Pretty obvious you're miserable, sweetheart." Effie holds her breath for a moment, holding back the immediate recoil at being hit in a weak spot. Biting her tongue not to lash out...

"Still," she sighs. "I don't want to argue with you, I just wanted to let you know what's going on."

"Yeah, Effie I just..." He trailed off with a sigh. "I don't want to argue either."

"Glad we are on the same page," she hums because she's not sure what else to say. An uncomfortable silence settles over them, a silence they've never had before. It makes Effie uneasy, _this_ feels like a crossroads. A major moment in her life... "What do you want me to do?" She asks when she can't take the silence anymore.

"Come to Twelve." It's a testament to how well he knows her when he speaks before she can- "For a visit, come for Christmas. Test the waters a little..."

"And then?" She replies a little bitterly. "Give up on what I worked so hard on here? My job, my apartment... Become a housewife?" She's being a little unfair, she knows it. Haymitch would never treat her like that, _expect_ her to give up her independence. But what job would be in Twelve that she would like? That she even had skills for?

"Course not," he scoffs. "Could work with Peeta, he wants to open a bakery. Once all the rubble is cleared and things are more stable. I'm gonna help him in the summer. Or you can find a job in town, I don't know sweetheart. Won't know if you like it unless you try."

"You're inviting me for Christmas," Effie clarifies. 

"Yeah, you coming or what?" He asks with impatience. "Lay low from the media, it'll blow over by the time you're back."

"Lay low by hopping on the first train to Twelve," she chuckles. "Alright, I will pack a bag."

They are quick to say their goodbyes after that, and once faced with her quiet apartment again Effie has one question echoing in her mind. _What in Panem is she doing?_ Hopping on a train three days before Christmas, contemplating leaving her entire life behind for a man... It was crazy, more than that it was _insane._ Yet she found herself pulling her suitcase out from under her bed, opening her wardrobe...

It didn't take her long to pack. She didn't have as many clothes these days. Her wardrobe consisted of cheap clothes, given or bought when she first got out of hospital. There were a few high quality pieces in there too, mostly found by Haymitch while she had stayed at the Presidential Mansion. He hadn't known what to get but as he'd so politely informed her, he'd picked up all the clothes with the _fanciest_ names he could find. Some of them weren't her style, or had holes from overwear but she couldn't bring herself to throw them out, not when they were the only gift Haymitch had ever given her... 

There was two luxury pieces in there too. A bag, and some shoes. Purchases made during her first months alone in the Capitol. Without Haymitch, when her life had consisted of working for Plutarch and visiting Peeta. Impulsively bought items in bouts of panic. When she was trying anything to cope... She didn't know how to save well, she had always taken herself out when she was struggling. Bought a new outfit, treated it like a new personality...

Most of those clothes wouldn't be warm enough for winter in Twelve regardless. She had only visited twice in those months, but it had been so cold even then... So she ended up packing rather light, they hadn't specified a duration either so she could only hope she packed enough to not repeat outfits. 

And then she set off towards the train station, hoping nobody would recognise her. She was wearing a scarf around her neck, concealing a lot of her face. Her jacket was done all the way up and she avoided as many peoples eyes as possible. If the looks she managed to accidentally catch from some people were to be believed - she wasn't very convincing. But she thankfully didn’t run into any press..

Buying her tickets was the easiest part, even if it was painful to spend what little money she had left. Waiting on the platform however, was by far the worst.  
Not only was she anxious about being recognised, a photo being taken... She was anxious about what she was about to do. Haymitch might have been able to make it sound casual, but what she was about to do was _test the waters._ See if there was a place for her with him, see if they could work out. 

She wasn't sure what she wanted the outcome to be. On one hand, being with him and the kids... Waking up to him every morning, growing old with him. It was more than she imagined they would ever have. It was more than she had here in the Capitol by far. But if that didn't happen? If they argued or the kids grew tired of her... She didn't know how she would handle that. _Wasn't that what had been keeping her in the first place?_

When the train finally arrives, Effie steels herself, trying her best to instil the escort mask. False confidence and easy smiles... The first step off of the platform is hard but the second is _easy._

There wasn't much to do on the train. Effie had brought some magazines but she had already read them so they didn't provide much entertainment for her. She had brought some lunch too, just a sandwich and some fruit she had found in her fridge... Other than that, she could only watch the window at all the trees passing by. Watching the Capitol whizz past as they got further and further away... It took her back to before, when she was an escort. The thought was both comforting and haunting.

The train isn’t a straight journey anymore. She has to stop at two stations and it doesn’t help her relax. When she gets on the final train, the knowledge that the next time she steps off will be in Twelve is almost too much. 

Effie must drift off sometime near Ten because she wakes up to a woman opening the carriage to sit across from her. She paid more attention to how far they were away after that. Only stopping to text - or rather try to text - Haymitch and let him know what was happening. They hadn't agreed to meet or anything, but Effie hoped he would want to anyway. There wasn't much signal still so she wasn't sure if the texts sent through.

She was thankful they had because when she arrived in Twelve, seeing the kids stood at the platform... It erased any doubts she might have had. Her chest was immediately filled with something warm, _love._ And she felt it ache when she thought about how long it had been since she had seen them, how much she had missed them... 

Katniss wasn't looking at the train, she was obviously sulking about something because both Haymitch and Peeta had amused smiles on their faces. Peeta was the first to point to the train, nudging Haymitch. Who promptly stood straighter, his grey eyes were searching for her in the windows. It stole her breath away when he found her. Their eyes met, she could read the happiness in them, the joy... He looked so happy and healthy surrounded by the people they loved the most.

It was enough to get her rushing up and out of the train, fumbling with her bag impatiently when she had to wait behind a man to get off.  
Peeta was the first one forward, pulling her into a tight hug as soon as she approached with an overjoyed _Effie!_ Katniss wasn’t so enthusiastic but she let Effie hug her so she supposed she was still happy enough to see her. 

Then she moved onto Haymitch. He didn’t let her hesitate, pulling her into a hug that was warm and comforting... It lasted longer than it probably should’ve, she ended up burying her face in his neck. Smelling him... It was familiar and _home._ When they pulled away, she dug her hands into his arms. He was wearing a thick coat which frustrated her a little because she missed the feeling of his skin... 

She looked up at him, hesitant. Spared a quick glance to the kids who looked a little uncomfortable, and threw caution to the wind. She places her fingers under his chin, bringing his lips down so she could kiss him. It was reminiscent of their last kiss. But this time she hesitate to. Opening her mouth readily when he took it a little further than he probably should in public... 

“Maybe we should head back,” Peeta suggested loudly. Effie finally opened her eyes, faced with a very flushed Katniss and an awkward Peeta. Haymitch on the other hand was smirking down at her with far too much amusement. 

“That sounds like an idea,” Effie agreed. She handed her suitcase handle to Haymitch, who raised an eyebrow but took it without much grumbling. 

“Packed lightly, yeah?” He chuckled as the kids walked ahead of them. The ground was a little icy outside of the station and Effie was grateful for Haymitch’s arm that was hovering near the small of her back... It wasn’t quite touching. But every now and again it would brush the back of her coat - to steady her usually. Every time it did, a warm tingling feeling shot through Effie from her head to her toes. A feeling that made her feel so _happy._ The same feeling that rushed through her when she looked up at him, when he would flash her a rare but genuine smile...

It was ridiculous, she mused. They were acting like teenagers.  
But you know what was more ridiculous?

How long it took her to realise that _this._ Her _team_ was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas!  
> If you’re wondering where all my other Christmas stories went, look no further than this xD. This took up so much time and energy, I think I’ve rewritten it so many times, deleted so many paragraphs and sentences. This took an unnecessary amount of my time. So hopefully you all enjoyed it!  
> An unnecessary update because nobody follows my tumblr so this is the best place to say it: For 2020 I will be (hopefully) posting more. I decided to write these 146 prompts (and a lot of the hoard fills the prompts so :P you might finally get the hoard!). I will probably post them as I’ve finished them (so no official schedules, because then I will just be stressed). And I would also like to post a multi chapter at some point. So, hopefully a lot to look forward to :)  
> Anyway, that’s enough boring talk. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! And a happy new year :)


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